Morality, the Mosque Controversy, and the Era of the Expended Family

Greetings Fellow Travelers …

No, I meant "Ex Pended."

My wife, Janie, and I were having dinner yesterday at at local Filipino restaurant, (by the way, if you've never tried pancit, do so. It is so good, but addictive!). Sitting in the next table was a group of women and children. One of the women, obviously "grandma," had made every attempt to hide her age with excessive makeup and was dressed like a twenty-something hooker late on her rent. With her was what I believe was the "grandma in the making," a late twenties to mid thirties lady with no idea as to how loud her voice was or how inappropriate and insensitive her words were.

She was telling someone, everyone in the building, actually, all about the lineage of her children, at least four in number, giving the ages and nationality of their fathers. It was not lost on me that given the volume of her voice and the racial aspect of the restaurant owners that she was trying to impress them, the owners, and others, that she had a connection with them because of the Asian ethnicity of all her children, some Thai, and the others Philippine.

I had to wonder how the boys were feeling, being talked about like they weren't there, being used for a pathetic attempt to impress someone, (kids know these things), and having the fact of their diverse fathers nationality touted as a bonus of life.

We all know that in today's world we have blended families. Since both Janie and I were married before I can tell you that taking two families and "blending" them into one is a daunting task at best. A child who has a parent living away from them is tough enough as it is, and I felt some anger towards this callous woman for her sad attempt to bolster her own life at the expense of her children. Lots of people deal with this same scenario everyday, making every effort to provide a stable and loving home for their children. The smart ones do not brag about how many different fathers their kids have. They just love their kids too much.

Neither do they ignore the fact. Their priority is the raising of their children, giving them the best chance possible against a world that will try to stop them at every turn. Thus, we broach the subject of morality.

My sense of morality would not have brought up such a topic in such a crude and insensitive manner as the lady mentioned above. And, as much as they would have tried to show otherwise, the loudmouth-edness of their mother was embarrassing, hurtful, and totally unnecessary. These young men know who their fathers are, and, they also know that our society, such as it is, will look down upon them as outcasts.

Is there really such a thing as the family of man? If there were, would an Islamic group really want to build a mosque so near Ground Zero, the site of the 911 attacks?

Today's Washington Post has an article by Krissah Thompson Felicia Sonmez entitled "To N.Y. Muslims, Islamic center near Ground Zero would be more than a mosque"

And I quote:

"While the national debate about the center has elicited passionate statements for and against it from Democrats and Republicans, what Muslims have been left with is a great deal of disappointment. And for the young American-born New Yorkers who hope to use the site as a fitness center, meeting space and prayer hall, among other functions, the sense of rejection is personal."

"Megan Putney, program director for the Muslim Consultative Network, which advises Muslim groups, has attended some of those meetings and wants to see the project go forward. "People have been asking, 'Where are the Muslims who are showing the outward detest for 9/11?' " Putney said. "'We are here. We abhor what happened on September 11th.'"

The article also mentions that plans for the mosque include a 911 memorial. So what? The right thing, the MORAL thing, to do would be to build the mosque on a site other than one so close to Ground Zero. The insistence of the folks, who are so looking forward to having a closer place to go swimming, to proceed with their plans shows an amazing insensitivity to every American who felt heartsick and devastated when OUR country was attacked on that day. A clear sign of a phenomenal lack of any kind of moral attribute.

Thus, we have the Expended Family.

We have people claiming to be a part of something special and honorable only to use it for their own brash and grossly insensitive wants. Let's be a people of Morality. To the folks who want a mosque to swim in, be kind, be sensitive, be American- build it elsewhere. As for the mom with the loud mouth- be kind, be sensitive, consider your children before you consider yourself.

God gave us the United States of America so we could be who we are. Let's make sure that we are sensitive to who others are as well.