Evolution vs Intelligent Design- Evolution Wins!
Posted: Sunday, December 06, 2009
by Ken McCreless
RMS1437- "Answer the Call"
Greetings Fellow Travelers ...
Or should I say, test subjects.
It has been my extreme pleasure to be the Lord High Executioner in charge of Special Intelectual Species Development for my galaxy. As you may have guessed, I am not from Earth. I am several billion years old, to use an earth term, and am in charge of your evolution.
That's right, evolution.
For example, it was I who explained to the archer fish that he needed to be able to spit water into the air. Then, I told him to aim at bugs that were sitting on low branches hanging out over the water. It took a couple of million years to accomplish, but as you can see, it's a roaring success!
However, that spike in affirmation lasted only a few milleniae. I needed more of a challenge. Lucky for me- and you- I can move through time as easy as you move through the mall.
I devised a hypothesis and arranged an outdoor laboratory in which to work. Several million types of basal DNA strings were concocted and thrown in to produce many types of creatures.
Then, I took some poo from a large Mestronamon on Gamtro 4, a sizeable dollop of rancid flatusian spit, and 6 drops of leech drippin's and sealed the pool, designated pool "A."
In pool "B" I tossed in a DNA sequence strand that I had accidently stepped on.
After about 60 million tears I returned from vacationing on Sandals Sumptial Galaxy to see what had grown.
I was saddened to see that the "ooze" or "soup" in pool "A" had produced magnificent animals, large and vicious, that had been killed because my son had accidently left the fridge open.
My children got it in their silver, pointed heads to mix up the bones to see if you guys would figure it out. You haven't gotten one right yet! Ha Ha Ha!
In place of those earth-dominating animals, well, you guys had shown up. What a surprise! What a crock!
Pool "B" had failed miserably. That particular vat had grown a miserable and filthy wretch that would go on to become Perez Hilton.
That one nearly got me canned.
Anyway, as you can clearly see, things just sort of evolved, with some help.
How could you even think there could be such a thing as "Intelligent Design?"
Or should I say, test subjects.
It has been my extreme pleasure to be the Lord High Executioner in charge of Special Intelectual Species Development for my galaxy. As you may have guessed, I am not from Earth. I am several billion years old, to use an earth term, and am in charge of your evolution.
For example, it was I who explained to the archer fish that he needed to be able to spit water into the air. Then, I told him to aim at bugs that were sitting on low branches hanging out over the water. It took a couple of million years to accomplish, but as you can see, it's a roaring success!
However, that spike in affirmation lasted only a few milleniae. I needed more of a challenge. Lucky for me- and you- I can move through time as easy as you move through the mall.
I devised a hypothesis and arranged an outdoor laboratory in which to work. Several million types of basal DNA strings were concocted and thrown in to produce many types of creatures.
Then, I took some poo from a large Mestronamon on Gamtro 4, a sizeable dollop of rancid flatusian spit, and 6 drops of leech drippin's and sealed the pool, designated pool "A."
In pool "B" I tossed in a DNA sequence strand that I had accidently stepped on.
After about 60 million tears I returned from vacationing on Sandals Sumptial Galaxy to see what had grown.
I was saddened to see that the "ooze" or "soup" in pool "A" had produced magnificent animals, large and vicious, that had been killed because my son had accidently left the fridge open.
My children got it in their silver, pointed heads to mix up the bones to see if you guys would figure it out. You haven't gotten one right yet! Ha Ha Ha!
In place of those earth-dominating animals, well, you guys had shown up. What a surprise! What a crock!
Pool "B" had failed miserably. That particular vat had grown a miserable and filthy wretch that would go on to become Perez Hilton.
That one nearly got me canned.
Anyway, as you can clearly see, things just sort of evolved, with some help.
How could you even think there could be such a thing as "Intelligent Design?"
Ken McCreless is just a guy who loves to write, and was born to do so. He is a freelance writer with several projects ongoing, including books and magazines. A huge fan of both irony and history, Ken has dedicated his life and his writing to serve the Lord Jesus Christ.
Got a need for short fiction? --Once-Told Tales-- Twilight Zone inspired!!
Got a need for short fiction? --Once-Told Tales-- Twilight Zone inspired!!
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More commentsHi Ken, written well and loved the vat that went wrong and turned into Hilton..well done!SteveThank you, Steve. Are you open for an interview once I get my book ready? It was suggested by a mutual friend.Anytime my friend.
Great article. Well done.Very well written. Perhaps if you set up the same experiment a few thousand times it would work. You have to factor in the huge size of the universe. We were on the Goldilocks point and evolution worked.Thank you for commenting, Connor. In my humble opinion, you could call it the "Alice in Wonderland" point and it still would not make sense.
Francis Crick, the discoverer of DNA, and Nobel Prize winner published a book which subscribed to the theory of intelligent design, that our universe was not simply the result of a series of chemical accidents. He states;"Life did not evolve first on Earth, a highly advanced civilization became threatened so they devised a way to pass on their existence. They genetically-modified their DNA and sent it out from their planet on bacteria or meteorites with the hope that it would collide with another planet. It did, and that's why we're here." The DNA molecule is the most efficient information storage system in the entire universe. The immensity of complex, coded and precisely sequenced information is absolutely staggering. The DNA evidence speaks of intelligent, information-bearing design. Complex DNA coding would have been necessary for even the hypothetical first so-called' simple cell(s). Our DNA was encoded with messages from that other civilization. They programmed the molecules so that when we reached a certain level of intelligence, we would be able to access their information, and they could therefore "teach" us about ourselves, and how to progress. For life to form by chance is mathematically virtually impossible."How did the "highly advanced civilization" come about though?They must have evolved unless they too were created by an even more highly advanced civilization, which must in turn have been created by a still more highly advanced civililization etc etc... which is an infinite regression.Either the more highly advanced life forms evolved (in which case we don't need to postulate them as explanation for our own existence in the first place) or you have infinite regression.Your query is just a 'what came first; the chicken or the egg", query; the correct and inescapable answer is of course that the 'Farmer' did.My query is not a chicken or egg question.... its just "what came first?" Postulating alien advanced life as the explanation for the advanced life here on earth is no explanation at all.How do you escape the infinite regression? Or is your "farmer" the same as the "god" of theology, which is again not an explanation but something in need of explanation itselfExcellent question; The unfurling of and total decoding of Crick's stated submerged DNA code will most likely reveal the answer to your regression origins query and many other questions as yet unposed.The DNA code has already revealed gradual evolution over time from simple beginnings, and there are numerous plausible, naturalistic processes by which abiogenesis could be explained without postulating advanced aliens (and thereby just moving the origin in need of explanation to another planet).Crick moved away from his "Directed Panspermia" speculations later in his career - in 1993, in "Anticipating an RNA world. Some past speculations on the origin of life: where are they today?"No bloody clueOr a Higgs boson.Forest for the trees, boys. Forest for the trees.Boys! Boys!Can't we get along?*** Paul, you took a theory and ran with it as though it were a fact."Life did not evolve first on Earth, a highly advanced civilization became threatened so they devised a way to pass on their existence."*** Where is the proof in the above statement?
i enjoyed the article. I could actually see the vat and then Perez Hilton, lol. Nice humor to make a point.Thank you, Frank. I could even smell it as I wrote it!
I am laughing out loud - what a creative and clever way to make a point! Can you write one on "global warming" and climategate too? Loved this! MarijoThank you so much, Marijo.That's a good idea, something about the hole in the ozone starting over DC and expanding everywhere the politicians go.I like it!When it comes to global warming you're in that river in Egypt, denial!
Very well said, Ken, except for one thing: you forgot to pay your tab at Sandals Sumptial Galaxy (West). According to our records, you had cabin #218 and you used your mini-bar to excess. There were also some, shall we say, questionable wear and tear on the furniture. Please respond with payment in full, plus accrued interest (60 million years' worth!). Sincerely . . . the management of Sandals Sumptial Galaxy (West).and if this doesn't work, you can always send gweedo.Sir, somebody told me the whole vacation was comped, and that headboard was broke when I got there.I swear by Gondars Hammer!
Hey Bro-bro, BRAVO!!! I can't even tell you how much I have missed you and your creative wit. Thanks for the smile and the point!!!Thank you so much, Sis!I've missed you too. How are you? How is life in "Collie-fornia?"
Ken, you are one of the few reasons I read at the warp. There are few and far between who write with your creativity, insight, wit, humor, and honesty. All those clamoring on and on about DNA and intelligent life, who cares? It's all mental masturbation, if taken too extreme or as Martin Luther referred to it: "The great whore of the earth." Using man's reason to determine things beyond his grasp a waste of time not the main reason he's here. Man can conjecture and postulate until blue in the face, but in order to be right about any theory of considerable complexity would have to posses all existing knowledge, all to come, apply it objectively knowing all outcomes into the future. Stephen Hawking states: "No theory is absolute," meaning that all this conjecturing is a considerable waste of time if you think you are going to find the answer using the human mind, for to discover the mind of God and his reason and purpose for design using such is like an ant trying to keep up with the jaguar. This is where Luther was coming from. Consider the wisdom of Mother Teresa when asked what are we here for when she said, "To love and be loved." When we can reach out in perfection only through the heart what is man's imperfect conjectures about issues pointless and impossible to determine? And let me conclude by saying this "Intelligent design" and Paris Hilton. I rest me case. Peace, my brother. Write on!!!
Thank you, Jeff. I am humbled at your very kind words.Mankind trying to figure out the universe is like trying to use a toaster to calculate quantum physics.We would be better off working on more pertinent issues, in my opinion.Yes, it's like my four-year-old advising a science major on his PhD discertaion. What!? Exsqueeze me?! Baking Powder?! Peace!Ironically the human mind is also part of the quantum physics of the universe.Dismissing it as trivially inept as a discerning tool is a serious error.Especially given that we're doing this via the Internet, which is an amazing result of mankind's investigations into understanding the way the universe works (science) and then applying the knowledge gained :)
Also, we don't rely on just "the human mind" these days, we make progress through tens or hundreds of thousands of human minds working together, aided by the abilities of computers which already exceed our innate abilities in many areas.Sounds like a room full of monkeys on typewriters theory.Well, apes anyway :)But my point is that together we have achieved more than any single human mind could ever have achieved - the limitations of a single human mind have already been overcome
Great article bro, great article! This is hilarious! I appreciate your gift. Keep it up. Your creative mind is evolving into something wonderful!Thank you so much, my brother. I could have never guessed that God would bring me so far!
I very much enjoyed reading your article. And I enjoyed reading the following comments. This is what it's all about. You are a good, imaginative writer. Entertaining.---- Thanks EllaThank you so much, Ella! You have made my day!
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