Perfect Identity Theft Prevention, An Identity No One Wants!
Posted: Tuesday, March 17, 2009
by Ken McCreless
RMS1437
Greetings Fellow Travelers
Mr. Potato.
First of all, let's get the pronunciation right. In this case it is not po-tay-toe, but puh-tay-tuh. And not Mr. Potato Head, more of a chuckle head. Let me take you back to my younger days...
Dittlee-ooh Dittlee-ooh Dittlee-ooh! (just think Wayne 's World!).
There I was in the shop at Brown and Root- Harbor Island , just across the ferry from Port Aransas, on the Texas Gulf Coast . I had worked there before, but as a scaffold builder. We were the ones who built the platforms that the welders and others used to actually put the off shore drilling "jackets" together. The jackets are the frames that the drilling units sit on.
I had gotten a job in the shop because, well, my brother was the shop foreman. I have some mechanical skills, but, though I enjoy it, I am too slow working on engines and such to make a living at it. But I did have my place there, doing stuff like sweeping and fixing tires, which leads me to my story, and my un-wanted identity, the actually identity theft proof Mr. Potato.
I remember it was one of those mornings where I just wanted to go down by the dock and throw in a line, a beautiful, and clear and virtually wind-less day. I had already had an awesome time by driving the Brown & Root tractor trailer around the yard. You see, I had to back it, the trailer, into the shop to remove a tire that had a leak and took the long way around the yard to do so. Like I said, it was a beautiful day, even after my brother chewed me out for driving so fast.
After wrestling with the jack, the lug nuts and finally the tire I rolled the big wheel onto a clear area of the shop where I could work on the split rim. The rim of these big wheels back then, I don't know if they still are, were made up of two pieces- the wheel itself and an outer rim that made up the outer edge of the wheel. That was the dangerous part. It had to be forced around the side of the steel wheel and was what kept the tire and tube assembly in. Many serious injuries and some deaths have come from the rim flying off in one piece or two and cutting into the person fixing the tire, or a by-stander. In our case we had a steel cage that the assembly would sit in while being aired up, just in case it decided to come apart. The cage would catch the rim and save someone from being called "Lefty," or "Stump."
Now, there I am. I've successfully completed the patch and have rolled the big wheel into the cage to be aired up. I attach the air hose and turn on the pressure. As the air is pumped in I feel confident enough to turn my gaze to the outside world once again, like Ralph from that famous old cartoon my imagination gets the best of me. Then it happens.
BOOOM!!!!! More like BOOOMMM!!!
The outer rim that I told you was so dangerous had shown me, in violent terms, how dangerous it could be. I was not injured, but was pretty shook up. The cage had done its job.
The rest of the crew that was in earshot came running to see what had happened. As you might imagine I was not to be given one bit of sympathy, but, once they saw I was not bleeding, instantly had a consensus on what to do for me. It was apparent to them that I needed a new name, one given to a person in my situation who had been through an event that could easily force the rapid and unyielding movement of bowels- Mr. Potato.
Not to be too gross, the "potato" would be what you would have in your drawers that had not been there before, something most unexpected brought on by something most unexpected. Of course, it was only a name, the "event" had not actually happened, but in a shop surrounded by mechanics and such there is no mercy. I wore that moniker for months.
Even after several years of Non Mr. Potato-ness I still had that same "identity," one no one wanted to steal. I ran into one of the guys, and after not seeing him for those years, he STILL called me Mr. Potato, (Puh-Tay-Tuh).
But now I am a respected member of a unique and elite team, as a Registered Respiratory Therapist in a level III NICU. No more Mr. Potato for me, right?
RIGHT?
Ken McCreless is just a guy who loves to write, and was born to do so. He is a freelance writer with several projects ongoing, including books and magazines. A huge fan of both irony and history, Ken has dedicated his life and his writing to serve the Lord Jesus Christ.
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Top-level comments on this article: (6 total)Hi Ken.From the title I did expect your article to be amusing ... and it is. But it's totally off the track I thought might take. I've always thought that the best way to keep people from robbing you is to not have something they want and so I was thinking that you might be giving us financial advice along the same lines. Silly me!My sis worked in an auto shop for a while and when I would go to visit her, they would sometimes be "busting" a tire in the tire buster. It too was in a cage and for good reason. Even so the noise of the thing always made me jump.Thanks for the chuckles,DianneBelieve me, no one wants financial advice from me! What made this event so memorable for me was that I was in "another world," lost in the beauty of the day, when the BOOM happened. But you can't tell a bunch of mechanics who work on giant bulldozers stuff like that. Your life would be over!!Thank you for reading and commenting
This is great and very entertaining. You definitely earned a name that no one would want to steal. When I was younger I also worked in a tire shop, but never on those truck tires. They looked much too scary for me.I was just glad to have all my appendages at the end of the day! Those are some fond memories that I would not want to relive!Thanks for stopping by.
Ken,You got me with this one and you kept me guessing. Good, good story! (I rather like the 2nd pronunciation of puh-ta-tuh. Works for me!)Thank you for another smile today!Nancy
Hi Nancy!Yep, puh-ta-tuh! What would Dan Quayle think?Thanks for taking the time to read and respond, I am most grateful...
Mr. Ken,A very interesting and amusing story. I enjoyed reading about your experience. And yes the way you have expressed it is beautiful. You proove your biodata. Thank your writting and it is indeed amusing.SwapnaThnk you, Swapna, for the kind words. I really appreciate your taking the time.Keep writing!
Great article. I like how you start with Mr. Potato. Or should I say Mr puh-tay-tuh. You have a certain talent for making articles passionate.Thank you so much, Connor. That is a talent that got me into trouble in school, interestingly enough!Have a good one and thanks for stopping by!I notice that you start your articles with greetings “fellow travellers". What are you meaning exactly by it?I am referring to the transient nature of our existence here on earth. We all are just "traveling" through this life. Each human being on the planet shares this aspect.Got it. Thanks
Ha! I had a feeling I was in for a treat by the title. Thanks for the laugh, you sure have a way with telling tales. Keep them coming. You add joy to my life. Blessings! Teresa"You add joy to my life"There is no greater compliment, Teresa.Thank you so much...
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