Move Over, Travis. Meet the Rogue Chimps of La Feria.

Greetings Fellow Travelers...

We have all heard about the raging destruction of human flesh perpetrated by Travis the Chimp. After talking with a couple of co-workers I have learned about folks here in the Rio Grande Valley that have not one but a few of these vicious creatures, along with a minor menagerie of other such exotic "pets." I have confirmed the location to be La Feria, no specific address. I have also learned that "a lot of people" here in the RGV have exotic pets. I have collected some of the stories associated with these critters and have passed them on to you.

The group in La Feria, chimpanzees of an unspecified or unknown number, are apparently escape artists. The rate of their escape is about once or twice a year. I don't know too much about the type of cage they are in, but it is believed to be comprised of chain link fence-type material. One of my sources tells me that the chimps love to visit a local mom and pop grocery store. He says the video surveillance camera has picked up the animals opening the door and making their way to-- are you ready for this-- the beer section.

The chimps are clearly seen making a beeline to their beverage of choice, grabbing a bottle or two, and making their way back outside. They don't seem to be interested in anything else, like cookies, bread, milk, soda pop or dog food- just beer. It was also noted to me that they were seen, by human eyes and with cameras, trying to open the door after hours. These guys have the strength to easily smash the glass, or pull the door open, but they don't. I would bet that in time they will.

My friend told me that one time one of the chimps escaped and for some reason decided to squat in the center of the passing lane on the local boulevard. A police car came along and parked facing the beast, who stood his ground. The officer tried turning on the lights, then lights and siren, to no avail- the chimpanzee simply sat and watched him, obviously with no intention on moving. The officer then opened his door and drew his weapon. He aimed at the offending primate, with, according to my source, a prior knowledge of the behavior and aggressiveness of these animals. It seemed that the stand-off might go on for an extended period of time, as the chimp was not moving and the officer could not just shoot him unless he made a move that could be interpreted as some sort of attack. He never did. Nothing happened until a small pick-up approached the beast. The driver stopped beside the chimp and showed him, you guessed it, a bottle of beer. The chimp reached for it, but the driver refused to give it to him. He gestured to the passenger side of the truck, but the chimp did not move, at least for a moment or two. After another series of mime like moves indicating that the chimp should get in, he did just that, and was given the bottle of beer. The officer replaced the pistol back in the holster as the two drove away.

One night my friends uncle was awakened by the sound of footsteps in his house. He went to investigate, thinking someone had gotten in and was going to rob him, or worse. He moved about the house trying to intercept his unwanted visitor and, after a few minutes, saw that it was one of the chimps. He ran from the house to his siblings house close by. The chimp was gone by the time the police got there.

My source also tells me that it seems that the owners of the chimps operate some sort of exotic pet zoo. The guy who works there, it's not known if he is a family member or employee, was attacked by one of the chimps about a year ago. He had a chunk-- a chimpanzee mouth-sized chunk-- taken out of his right calf. He is still there to this day. His wound has healed, and his leg is quite impressively restructured, with enough muscle left to move the leg in an altered version of his former style of walking.

Of course chimpanzees aren't the only critters there. I understand a panther lives there as well, in a larger and steel constructed version of a pet carrier. There was an incident when the family was enjoying the cool evening air outside their home. They saw what at first seemed to be a big dog with an unusual gait coming down the road towards them. The creature was observed quietly until the group realized that it was the panther, at which time they beat a hasty retreat and called the cops. I asked him what happened next and he said he didn't know. No one was brave enough to venture out or question the owners of the big cat.

So Travis may not be the animal attack story of the decade for long. Seems there is plenty of contenders out there poised to take his crown.

Scary, huh?