To Err is...Inevitable
Posted: Saturday, December 06, 2008
by Ken McCreless
RMS1437
Greetings Fellow Travelers...
Have you ever done something that, when the idea hit you, seemed like an absolutely brilliant idea, but upon execution fell as flat as a pancake? Or watched a dog chasing its own tail, convinced victory was his if he only spun faster or repeatedly and rapidly changed direction?
Like the guy up the street whose garage is stuffed-- literally stuffed, not even joking-- with junk his endless garage sales will never get rid of, my mind is loaded with tidbits of trivia and anecdotes not likely to land me a job with Reuters. Case in point as follows.
I mentioned to some co-workers the other night that if you started with one penny and doubled it everyday, you would end up with over 5.3 million dollars in 30 days.
You should have seen the expressions in their eyes! At first it was of contemptible, but hopeful disbelief, then the mad scramble to see if it was true or not, then the "how could you do that?" face. They weren't upset with me, but were trying to figure out how it could be done. It was a solid ten minutes of near silent contemplation, during which I tried, repeatedly, to show them it was true by saying, while holding a calculator,
" Look, 2 X 1= 2, that is the second day, (talking a little slower each round). Third day, 4 cents. Fourth day- 8 cents," and pushing the "=" button until reaching the 30 day limit, all the while holding the display where they could see it clearly. Then I would divide by 100 to convert pennies to dollars.
" See? 5 million, 3 hundred and 68 thousand, 709 dollars!" Now I'm feeling as if I should lie down on the floor and let blood return to my brain.
Then I took a line from the DIY programs that show folks how to add 200 horsepower to their Yugos and said "All you got to do is," and added "find an investment that can provide a 100% return, daily, for 30 days! It's just that simple." Brilliant! They either know that's impossible and love my attempt at humor or are so confused I seem equal to Warren Buffet! (quick pat on the back here).
Their expression told me that if I had a few "Make 5 Million Dollars in 30 Days!" self-help kits I could have sold out instantly.
And, like the kid with an ant pile and a magnifying glass, I watched them go up in flames searching their collective data base for such a miracle money machine. One was working it out on paper, obviously not believing the math or the goober holding the calculator.
By then I was exhausted and trying to remember why I had brought it up in the first place.
I tried to close the subject by saying, "And that's called 'compound interest,'" which was written down by the person who had recently abandoned her attempt to replicate the experiment via pencil and paper.
The morale of the story came to me as I remembered the reason for beginning this, umm, "event." I had attempted to dazzle the small group with my wit and cleverness. It was like bringing a knife to a gunfight. I fear that my foray into self-promotion only branded me with a "useless fact" stigma that might be hard to shake. I walked away feeling like Cliff from "Cheers."
Oh man! I hope I didn't start the thing with "It's a little known fact!"
Oh yeah, the Morale.
Those who live in glass houses should hang lots of paintings. It will keep folks from looking in on you and will give an appearance of sophistication.
Maybe I can qualify for a bailout now...
Have you ever done something that, when the idea hit you, seemed like an absolutely brilliant idea, but upon execution fell as flat as a pancake? Or watched a dog chasing its own tail, convinced victory was his if he only spun faster or repeatedly and rapidly changed direction?
Like the guy up the street whose garage is stuffed-- literally stuffed, not even joking-- with junk his endless garage sales will never get rid of, my mind is loaded with tidbits of trivia and anecdotes not likely to land me a job with Reuters. Case in point as follows.
You should have seen the expressions in their eyes! At first it was of contemptible, but hopeful disbelief, then the mad scramble to see if it was true or not, then the "how could you do that?" face. They weren't upset with me, but were trying to figure out how it could be done. It was a solid ten minutes of near silent contemplation, during which I tried, repeatedly, to show them it was true by saying, while holding a calculator,
" Look, 2 X 1= 2, that is the second day, (talking a little slower each round). Third day, 4 cents. Fourth day- 8 cents," and pushing the "=" button until reaching the 30 day limit, all the while holding the display where they could see it clearly. Then I would divide by 100 to convert pennies to dollars.
" See? 5 million, 3 hundred and 68 thousand, 709 dollars!" Now I'm feeling as if I should lie down on the floor and let blood return to my brain.
Then I took a line from the DIY programs that show folks how to add 200 horsepower to their Yugos and said "All you got to do is," and added "find an investment that can provide a 100% return, daily, for 30 days! It's just that simple." Brilliant! They either know that's impossible and love my attempt at humor or are so confused I seem equal to Warren Buffet! (quick pat on the back here).
Their expression told me that if I had a few "Make 5 Million Dollars in 30 Days!" self-help kits I could have sold out instantly.
And, like the kid with an ant pile and a magnifying glass, I watched them go up in flames searching their collective data base for such a miracle money machine. One was working it out on paper, obviously not believing the math or the goober holding the calculator.
By then I was exhausted and trying to remember why I had brought it up in the first place.
I tried to close the subject by saying, "And that's called 'compound interest,'" which was written down by the person who had recently abandoned her attempt to replicate the experiment via pencil and paper.
The morale of the story came to me as I remembered the reason for beginning this, umm, "event." I had attempted to dazzle the small group with my wit and cleverness. It was like bringing a knife to a gunfight. I fear that my foray into self-promotion only branded me with a "useless fact" stigma that might be hard to shake. I walked away feeling like Cliff from "Cheers."
Oh man! I hope I didn't start the thing with "It's a little known fact!"
Oh yeah, the Morale.
Those who live in glass houses should hang lots of paintings. It will keep folks from looking in on you and will give an appearance of sophistication.
Maybe I can qualify for a bailout now...
Ken McCreless is just a guy who loves to write, and was born to do so. He is a freelance writer with several projects ongoing, including books and magazines. A huge fan of both irony and history, Ken has dedicated his life and his writing to serve the Lord Jesus Christ.
This Article has been viewed 270 times. (Not updated in real-time.)
Top-level comments on this article: (10 total)At least you didn't walk away feeling like 'Peter' from 'Family Guy'.Great article, I loved it. I had heard that penny x 2 a day for 30 days (or whatever) before--and I still don't get it. But then, I don't have the ambition for making 5 plus million.Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.SandraHi Sandra. It's the age old phenomenon- the difference between simple and easy. Want to make 5 million in 30 days? Just double one penny every day! Simple? Yes. Easy? Impossible, actually. Thanks for reading...
You did it again, Ken. I swear, you crack me up. Thanks for your genius (I don't care what they say!)I knew it! I AM a genius! Things are gonna start happening to me now!!!Ooops, sorry, Camille, a little setback there... Thanks for the comment, always appreciated.
Hi Ken.As one person full of useless facts to another ... Good job! You're a hoot!DianneThank you, Dianne.You never know when they'll come in handy, though...right?
I liked this one.I once drove past a grave yard and old my son, "Ryan, did you know that no one living in Florida is buried in that grave yard?"He was shocked. "Really?""Really," I said. "They're all dead."Like the one that said if a plane crashes on the border of Canada and the US where are the survivors buried? Sweet!Thanks for stopping by, Tex.
I love your humour. It's like one time that I told a person about the awful statistics that I heard. That 10 out of 10 people die. He just looked at me strangely and asked, "Why?" I said, "What do you mean, 'why', they just do." His answer? "Well, there must be a reason."That's too funny! It's amazing how the mind works. Thanks for reading, David. I appreciate it.
hi ken,this was a clever article, and uplifting with it's humor.thanks for sharing,my best regards,suehappy holidaysThank you, Sue. Happy Festivus!
Ken,This is quite entertaining, but it also gives me a sense as if I'd learned something new. Thanks for sharing your creativity!Thank you Ronyae. I knew all those hours daydreaming in class would pay off someday!!!Yeh, talk about PAYDIRT....
I understand the double a penny rule and have since a young boy and oddly enough my mom/dad owned a Yugo and I did not get it so that actually made the article even MORE INTERESTING for me. Keep up the great work!Thank you for the kind words and sorry for taking so long to answer.
You forgot to mention the paintings should face outward so the roaming eyes of the public can bask in the sophistication. Otherwise, they'll only be looking at blank squares and rectangles.Very well done.What? no double sided prints? Thanks for reading and commenting, Michael, and I'm sorry for not responding sooner...
Ken,,,,hahahahahahahahahahhaha This was great, I like you little colorful justifications why you started this anywas, this was haliarious!!! What a great sense of humor you have, and what a good read this was. The moral was great , the glass house theory. I loved it all. You have never failed to keep me interested, and I love your work.....Keep writing, and keep up the good work......I am waiting for whatever you are working on next.....I will keep reading and laughing. your friend and fan in pen..........Gary.Thanks, Gary. One my most repeated phrases is "it seemed like a good idea at the time."And my friend it usually does seem like a good idea at the time, so true so true.....great article, Your sincere friend in pen....Gary...Keep up the good work.
We want your comments! If you can read this, you don't have javascript enabled, so you can't use this comment system. Please enable javascript.